“People have the power” sang Patty Smith and I always have believed this, I mean it is my religion, my credo somehow. I believe people have the power to change the reality around them especially by joining themselves up to reach some better lifestyle. Each one of us has this power to improve the society but before doing that we need to change ourselves, to reflect on what is right and what is wrong within us. For me it is a endless work that I cannot and I do not want stop it. Well, it happened right in the last days to start a discussion with the others volunteers here about girls.

In particular the topic was about in which way girls should behave or should not behave to avoid to be raped. My friends claimed that girls should not walk with alluring outfit during the night. I cannot live with this kind of speech and I pissed off at usual. I would like to explain why, even if for me it is so expected, because I think that the only way we have to make ourselves better is to be available to speak each other and to compare our own point of view. About me I am convinced that all the human being in this world have the same rights colored and white, female and male, old people and children, sick and sane people, stupid and smart people, good looking and ugly people. Each one of us has the same rights to claim. For this reason I think we should not say never- neither once in our life- to girls that they should behave in a way different from that way they really feel just to do not provoke men.

Women protesting in Dublin

Plus it does not matter because most of the girls already behave in this way and they do this because someone said to them to do it, that is someone said to them to give their right to be themselves up and to learn to live with the fear to be too much themselves.

I am not just disagree with it, I believe it is an unacceptable oppression that we need to fight against. I mean, just because I was born as a girl I should accept to duty to be more responsible, more prudent, smarter than the others? I do not think so. Instead I believe I have the holy right to be as I feel and to give me the time to grow up and to discover little by little how all we need to become more responsible. I have the same right to be stupid like Germain he likes showing his ass sometimes for joke. I have the same right to be late at night and to come back home alone. I have the same right to wear what I want and if I decide to dress something that men can find “sexy” it does not mean I did because I want give me to them, but just because I wanted do it. Yesterday night there was a party and I wore a short skirt because.. come on! should I really give to someone explanations for that ?

Well, let’s say just because It suited me! During the party I had a video calling with my boyfriend who is working abroad and he is not here and after seeing me he asked me if I wanted to find another guy that night. He was joking and it was a way to cheat the distance and to make me feel his presence but anyway he gave me the input to think about this topic. Plus come on! in each joke there is something true, you know. In this regard it happened something does deserve to be remembered.

On November 2018 in Ireland the Court of law acquitted a twenty seven years old man who raped a seventeen years old girl because the girl wore a lace thong. The rapist’s defend was able to get past the idea that the fact the girl was wearing a sexy thong was a signal of consent somehow. Hundreds of Irish women went out to flood into the streets and into the web and to yell all together “that is not consent” by holding on their hands their own sexy thongs. After that the protest has grown and thanks to the social network it was able to reach others women in others countries. Thanks to the Member of Parliament Ruth Coppinger instead  the case ended up in the Irish Parliament and it opened a discussion about the need of a trial reform about it. Coppinger showed a lace thong and she said “It might seem embarrassing to show a thong here but how do you think a rape victim or a woman feels when her underwear is inappropriately shown in a court of law?”  

The point is before to be girls we are human being and we have the same rights of male people. So do not teach us to behave in a way that violate our own rights but teach men to behave by respecting our rights instead! In the meantime we will be forced to be more careful than boys, to avoid to put ourselves in dangerous situations, but if we will do this by remembering everyday that it is not fair and by fighting against, I am sure little by little we will be able to change something and to reach a greater equality.  After all “people have the power”.  After all we are the ones we give birth to men too.


Written by: Venessa Torcasso